Sweet Relief


Today was day 3 of what may or may not turn into a 10×10. I probably won’t fully commit until I’m 9.5 miles into day 10. I usually run 6.5 with Chip & Pat, so I’ve been getting out and knocking out 3.5 before 5 am when those guys shop up to run. But that means an early start and I don’t have time to sit around taking care of business before my run.

When I got to the parking lot this morning I felt a slight discomfort but didn’t think much of it and started down the road. There was some improvements being made at the greenway where it meets the road, so there happened to be a portajon. I thought it was my lucky day. Unfortunately they must not have appreciated my using the same jon yesterday because there was a padlock on it today. No worries. I just made a right instead of a left on the trail because there is a public portajon 9/10th of a mile down the road. No big deal. The first half mile was no problem. But pretty soon things started feeling a little squirmy. I knew if I could just hold on I would have a nice, safe, quiet place to find relief. But luck was not in my favor and at .77 miles I knew I better duck behind a tree.

As soon as I made that decision it was too late. I don’t know what I did to my body to deserve this kind of treatment. I dropped my pack in the grass and waddled 10 yards through the brush and rocks to the creek that was happily flowing near the trail. Somehow I doubt that indecent exposure laws take into consideration the time of day or who is present, but I didn’t think much of it as I stripped down and washed my boxers in the creek. No harm, no foul, right? And I didn’t see any fowl, so I was good.

I got myself back together, climbed back up to the trail, and put my wet boxers in my pack, embarrassed but really feeling much better about the world. As I snapped my pack back on I heard a noise and looked up to see an old man smoking on the deck of his apartment immediately across from trail. It was dark, so I’m sure he only saw my headlamp bobbing around and couldn’t really tell what was going on, but I didn’t stick around to find out.

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